January 27, 2010

in which i review haute couture using 30 rock quotes from the one with james franco

So...I went to Paris and kind of forgot to mention it on this here blog? Was packing until the very last moment, no wireless in the hotel, etc., so now I am home. I present to you a shorter review of the shows I saw...composed almost entirely of quotes from the James Franco episode of 30 Rock.

Let's begin with Christion Dior, this bar jacket, specifically.Lace, pastels, bows-it's everything I've ever wanted, kind of like having ice cold diarrhea from drinking too much Jamba Juice!

This extravagant dress had an incredibly lengthy train, which made me want to ask the model if she was an ass scientist, because her ass blah blah blah you get the point.

And now for Chanel. First of all, the HAIR! So good, like if you combined a pillow that's been in the microwave with wig extensions from a store you might get if you typed "Nancy's Secrets" into the Internet.

Next, we have this cardigan I've been sort of afraid to wear, it has fuzzy buttons, and-I'M NOT GOING BACK TO NOTHINSVILLE!-Randy Lemon you open this door right now!
Where were we? Oh right, cardigan.
Looking fierce? If it was 2006!

The last look was accompanied by a male, as if she was Greta and he was Klaus.Your silver suit is all good and well, Male Model, but if you really want to become Julianne Moore's lover, YOU SHOULD BUY A LEATHER JACKET!!

Moving on to Armani-Was it inspired by the moon? Does chewing on a sponge trick your brain's hunger center? Yes, yes, a million times yes!

Last but not least, Givenchy. I would wear this lil' number to a bar called Homebutt:
And so wraps up my intellectual, sophisticated review of this couture season. When at shows, it's important to keep in mind that no matter how much you want to skip onto the runway and poke Freja Beha's poufy hair, you must contain yourself and take a picture instead. Kumiko taught me that.