June 23, 2008

Let's play middle school. You be my therapist, I'll be the confused 7th grader!

Now I'm going to go a wee bit out of my regular posting comfort zone and ask for a little advice and possibly some lecturing. I had a friend (we'll call her X) who I had been the absolute BEST of friends with for a decade (Caroline, you can probably skip this part, I've complained to you about all this 18 times). We would never get in fights, and agreed on everything, and saw each other constantly. And then we started going to the same school this past year, and she changed. It wasn't the kind of change where you're like figuring out who you are, it was just to be cool and everything, and suddenly I wasn't good enough for her. Then we started HATING each other. God, it sounds so Lizzie McGuire and cliche and stuff but I didn't really believe it either when it was happening. And now we go to the same camp and it's sort of awkward. We have these other people we're both friends with, and the last thing I want to do is make them feel like they have to pick a side. It's just upsetting because they'll say, "Oh no, I don't like X, she's so annoying," but then they walk off with her, and I'm the one who ends up being excluded and I really don't feel like I'm at fault here. I can't tell anyone who their friends are or who they "are supposed to" like, but if you say you don't like someone and then go off with them, that's unfair to both of us. I'm not rude to X. I'm not exactly chummy-chummy buddy-buddy, but I'm polite. To be completely rude is ridiculous and to hold a grudge is stupid. It's like a survival game for who can last longer but all it proves is that you're too immature to move on.
jsdhfsdkfjhew
You all are so much more knowledgeable with this kind of thing and probably know what's best to do. It's not fashion related, but I'd really like a little advice. I'm just clueless. Blahhhh.
Man, middle school is a living hell. Whoever had the smart idea to throw a bunch of hormone-loaded kids together in one building and force them to learn about something they obviously couldn't care less about with people they can't stand?

Anyways, I just watched The Nanny Diaries (who caught on to the X thing?) and I'm in a pretty good mood, so now the rest of the Salvation Army stuff! I think it was just that one night at Stephanie's that I was actually kinda good at modeling. Sigh. Here's a better picture of the Bears outfit...Click to enlarge!Tee, SA. Skirt, childhood closet. Purse, vintage (used to be grandma's). Headband, Target.

Yay for pullovers:
Pullover, SA. Jeans, H&M. Belt, thrifted.

A long-lusted schoolgirl skirt . The tag actually says "official girls uniform.":

Sweater, Stephanie. Skirt, SA. Belt, thrifted. Bag, SA. Bracelets, gift.

Finally a hippie outfit. The skirt is a size 10 in women's and I'm barely a size 10 in children's (say anything and I break your face!):
Top, Mom's. Skirt, SA. Headband, home-made. Belt, thrifted. Purse, SA.

Some better purse pics. Granny and hippie, life's good:
And, of course, the burden to every thrifting trip. I bought it so I can still look a tad stylish in the burning heat, but what do I wear with these shorts? I also got some neon windbreakers. Scroll down, ya lazy pig!

Anywho, thanks for listening, it really is comforting to find people on here that are so understanding of problems like these and know that hippie headbands ARE fashionable, thank you very much! *coughKEITHcough* Haha, I'm off to bed, it's been a long day.

41 comments:

the_kitten said...

omg how can you not be cool enough for her. Look at you, mate!

Anyways, if they are already beginning to exclude you regularly, the best thing you can do, really, is find yourself new friends - better friends who will absolutely take you as you are. Trust me, this might be tricky, and I hope you will get it done, but it will be the best. I know, because I have been in the same situation (when I was 15 or so), and that is how I learned. You might want to wait until the situation changes, until they change - but actually, it will not and you will end up quite alone and no one to hang with?

Victoria-H said...

Aw thank you so much. That makes me really happy.
Oh, i just watched The nanny diares too, it was good :P
ANd I couldn't not love your outfits... kind of awesame!

Erin said...

Hmmm, that's tricky. The only advice I can give you is to choose your friends wisely, and go for quality NOT quantity. It they say one thing but don't act on it, I think that says a lot about them. Maybe you could ask them why their words don't match up with their actions (e.g., why they claim to think X is annoying but then walk off with her)?
Siiigh, I certainly don't have many fond memories of middle school... High school isn't such a picnic either, but at least it's MUCH better! Something to look forward to. :)
Btw, the schoolgirl skirt outfit and the hippie outfit are both AWESOME.

Gabsterr said...

hmm, sign on AIM to talk about X please.

and ughhhh i hate your thrifting powers! AMAZING finds!

Elana said...

middle school SUCKS. I will tell you this: when you get to high school, even though there still is some drama, more and more people start to realize that drama is unnecessary (like you do!). right now there's not really anything you can do except be yourself and be with REAL friends and realize that no matter what you are way cooler, a lot more mature is sounds, and DEFINITELY have WAY better style.

p.s.i take pride in being my friends' personal therapist!

B said...

I love your pullover. Sorry I'm not good at giving advice =/

kirsty lee said...

oh my god, do you live in chicago? or somewhere nearby? if i knew this i would have hatched a plan to kidnap you. and possibly adopt you or something. these outfits are amazing my the way.

yiqin; said...

You pull off the hippie headband SO WELL! I think you are one of the best dressed around! I wish I dressed as well as you did when I was your age!

Alli said...

I'm in the exact same situation.
I'm about to be a junior in high school, and ever since about November of my sophomore year, my best friend decided that she just didn't wanna be friends with me anymore(we'd been friends for about 5 years too!).
And like you, of course my friends say how much they hate her, what a bitch blah blah blah, but then they're always chatting it up with her, hanging out with her etc. And I'm the only one she's really done it too, so nobody else really thinks of her the same as I do because she's not treating them all snooty like she treated me. Ugh. I hate people.
At any rate, at least your outfits look cute(I love the long hippie skirt)!

Hanna said...

Ugh, pre-teen dramas. Can't say I miss them. The exact same thing happened to me when I changed schools when I was your age. Your friends are well--lying. Either they don't find her annoying and just say it to make you feel better. Or, they do dislike her, but they like the "cred" being friends with her brings them more. Either way, it's very uncool. It sounds like such a snobby, adolescent thing to say "You can be friends with them or me, not both." But regrettably it is sometimes true.

P.S.-Awesome outfits.

Shade said...

ahhhhh i know exactly what your going through. Im so glad i just finished middle school! I think you should just forget about her and move on. Thats what i did except i think i was X in your case, but i wasnt a snoot about it. I was just fed up with her and plus she started hanging out with the wrong kind of crowd if you know what i mean. So i just ditched that fool and found some other folks to hang around. I mean i never really had that best friend feeling again. But maybe you will. If supposedly you're not good enough for her than she's def not good enough for you! HOpe that helps!

Elana said...

haha thanks for the comment. yeah if i do journalism, it will definitely be writing about fashion!
well, if we ever need more advice, we know who to go to! see the whole fashion blogging thing is so cool because it brings all these people that love the same thing together! yay! cheesy moment!

Sinead said...

I haven't a clue on what to give you for advice... but I love your outfits. I'm so impressed that you are so young, yet so fashionable.
The pullover and belt are my favorite pieces.

Alline said...

I LOVE you in the skinny jeans + jumper shots!! You look chic and grown up!! Really, you should try variations of that outfit! Don`t worry about you (ex-)"friend". Friends will come and go in your life all the time... enjoy these years, have fun, and if she doesn`t wanna talk to you... WHATEVS!! lol
xoxo

Elana said...

i tagged you! :P

Claire said...

Ugh, can I ever relate to the whole middle school drama thing. I suck at advice, but really, this girl doesn't sound like she's worth it. I love your outfits, you have such great luck thrifting! The belt and pullover are my favorites. Care to link up? I've already added you.

J-dizzle said...

My advice.. my teenager to teenager advice is that its not a big deal, it will blow over and you find through middle school and highschool who your real friends are.But for the mean time juts keep being you and dont change for anyone, cuz your freakin awesome!!
Oh and if your friends want to be that way maybe you should just tell them that its okay if they like her just cuz you arnt friends doesnt mean they cant be that way they dont feel like they have to "side" with either of you!
P.S PLEASE DONT TURN INTO "X".. (Preppy like).. your too cool!

jess said...

i'm not very good at advice sometimes but i think you should try to be polite and charming. I love your thrift finds

Fashion Is Poison said...

sweetie! i cannot believe how young you are! my brother is just a bit older than you :)

now, about X...have you talked to her? sometimes it's best to talk face to face and just confront each other about the problem. tell her how she made you feel and she should also tell you what she felt. i am sure feelings were hurt in the midst, i mean after all, you've been friends since you were very young. i think that is the best way to approach any problems so that there aren't any more reasons for bad feelings towards each other. well, i can tell you from personal experience that you will meet a lot of people in you life. some will stay and some will go. not that many stick around but those are the ones that make life worthwhile. so about your other friends, tough situation here...make it clear to them that you don't want your relationship to change between you and them nor do you want to change theirs with X. good luck hon keep us posted

annah said...

argh, school. i think the best thing would mabye just be a bit indifferent to it? if she wants to act like that, it\s her problem. i dunno. school wasn't fun for me, so perhaps you shouldn't take my advice!

i LOVE the outfits, the hippie one, the school one and pull over one are so cool!

the_kitten said...

Hey, I tagged you!

The Rules: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

I hope you will participate, I am looking forward to your playlist! Mine is here:
http://pickedpics.blogspot.com/2008/06/tag-summer-music-playlist.html

Nita-Karoliina said...

you are SO pretty girl and those outfit post are really nice.love every each one of them.
i had same kind of friend troubles when i was in ur age. its hard to be a girl. girls are so rude and they can stick a knife in your back in no reason..actually i loosed a friend when i was 21, she was my bff, and suddenly she just didnt want to do anything with me anymore, and that hurts, it still hurts. she gave me no reason. i am 23 now and now i have 2 close friends whom i trust, they will not ever do that kind of shit.. my advice is to TALK TO HER,STRAIGHT! ask what happened? what changed? just talk to her, make a clean brake or you might be friends again after that talk!

friemol said...

wooow I really like your style! I haven't got any other words for it.

Ash1314 said...

youre so adorable....so young and you are so stylin ;)

Jillian said...

i cannot get over how stylish you are!
and you are amazing with the whole boho chic look you just know all the right ways to work it!

i love the pullover i think it's my favorite of all the looks so chic and the jeans A+ i'm a total denim fanatic and you just made me fall in love w/ those! bravo!!!

said...

I think your style is always an inspiration to watch. And you really know how to pull off the boho/hippie look here. Love all of the headbands<3 And great big bag too. :)

i think thats hauttte said...

how can someone that has such cool style sense as you at your age not be cool enough for your friend?? this sort of happens to me quite often and i either think
1. friends come and go but family is forever (and my closest friends are like sisters..)
or
2. theyre annoying, they can hangout with annoying people. i will get over it and meet new people, make new friends, etc :]

perhaps your deserve a better friend than one that acts like friend "x"?

Fashionable Obsessions said...

I love your new heading Tavi! This is the first time I have seen it I think. And I love these outfits. The second one is my favorite. I love that you belted the shirt.

Alix d'Laire said...

I'll say first off that you are absolutely correct. Middle school is, in fact, living hell, and it does get better. It took me until high school to be able to act with impunity and not really worry about suchlike, and you're already ahead of the game in that you know what you like and you're way more fashionable than I was in MS! I'd say be nice. Be really really nice and resist the cattiness no matter how much it makes you want to pull your hair out, and said frienemy and friends of frienemy should be able to be cool with you and possibly be your friends. Also, cliche as it sounds, never be anything but you - make sure you're NEVER posing for anyone. this is SO important, because poses are very easily detectable and if you're genuine, people will be attracted to that and like you. Anyway, sorry for writing so much and giving somewhat generic advice, and good luck!!

CULTURE CREATORS said...

UM! holy crap darlin. how old are you??? you are a style guru not a rookie.




xCC

Biianca said...

you are incredibly adorable and I love all of your outfits immensely.
As for your friend...
I know its awkward, but the best way to solve this is just to tell her how you feel....I'm sorry if thats no help!

Natasha said...

sorry about the troubles with X. I know its frustrating to hear, but that definitely happens to plenty of people. My closest friend from when I was 2 until probably 13 or so is a stranger to me now...all because we fell into different groups.
All bitterness and rudeness aside, people drift in and out of your life. But good luck, and sorry it sucks so much now!

As for that floral bag, I really love it. Great outfits!

Krystal said...

SO great! I love how you put the pieces together!!

xx

angeline said...

darn, i wish i could find things like those at the salvation army...

i suppose ill have to look harder

Sugar Pop said...

TAVI, YOU BEAUTIFUL GIRL!! i can't help you with your problems. i'm sorry, i can't figure out my own problems let alone anyone elses :P
just...let it blow oveR? i dunno. haha, sorry. fat load of help I am... :O

i love the hippie skirt. i'll do a photoshoot of a hippie skirt, and we'll wear them outside of our bedrooms, okay? i hope you do, you looked fantabulous in it!

great buys, as always :)

MadameDior said...

I am in love with the second out fit. I love how u belted the long skirt in t helast outfit, and the head band looks fabulous on you =]

kelsea said...

these outfits suit you so well, all four of them. my fave is the one with the brown belt, jeans, floral top. good finds! [i really want to see an outfit with the shorts, heh heh.]

kelsea said...

oh and by the way, don't ever feel that you're not "cool enough" for anyone...cause i went through the same thing. i was best friends with this girl in seventh grade, and then she ditched me because i didnt wear hollister and pink.

S.S. said...

Don't worry about it, Tavi. If you really value you friendship with "X" and believe that you guys have as much in common as you did during the past 10 years, I would try to find some way to make up with her. She is probably mad at you for something you did that was unreasonable, but just decided to hate you for that. Girls can be really vicious and shes trying to make you jealous by taking away your friends. If you believe now that you don't want to be friends with her, that's ok, too. It's better to start a new relationship with other people who share the same interests with you now than drag on a relationship just because of the memories you shared. Just to warn you, this does not happen only in middle school. It will definately happen again in High School as well (If you have friends that are immature). My best friend that I knew from 5th grade told me the last week of high school(before we graduated) that she believed that we wouldn't be friends with each other anymore.. and after that, she stopped calling me and never took my calls. Some people are mean just to be mean or are immature. They might realize it someday, but you two might grow too far apart that you can't be friends anymore. After what happened with my best friend, I found new friends and couldn't be happier. Sometimes there's a reason why "X" stopped being friends with you; for you to make even better friends. I hope you feel better and everything is resolved.

Bob said...

So, I have some advice that you might find helpful. Read the book 'Odd Girl Out.'
You might find it a bit hard going, but you can skip bits (its actually a socio-anthopological thesis study, but whatevs, it's really good). It's basically about the nastier bits of being a teenage girl. Leaving out, and bullies and stuff. Srsly, wish I'd had it when i was younger. Hope this helps!

Carson Lee said...

She was jealous of your blog.
She found your talents a "threat" to her. It seems to not make sense, but many people are like that; it's THEIR limitation.