


(For the record, I do not have that aunt.)
The oversized seams, the huge flowers, the intricate paneling, the TOTALLY KOOKY AND SEIZURE-GIVING boots-
You know what?
No.
NO.
I'm done. This is too much.
I'm done.
Way too epic, I cannot handle it in this state.
Okay?
OKAY?
I'M DONE GOSH JUST CALM DOWN GAWD CHILLAX TAKE A CHILL PILL GET SOME NEW LINGO WHILE YOU'RE AT IT GET A NEW PURSE YOURS MAKES YOUR HAIR LOOK FLAT NO JUST GET NEW HAIR GO FOR SOMETHING BLAGOJEVICH OMG DID YOU HEAR HE TRIED SELLING THE SENATE SEAT WHAT A SHAME ILLINOIS WAS DOING SO WELL AND THEN HIS COW POOP HAIR CAME ALONG AND MADE NOISES ABOUT "I WILL FIGHT" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND NOW ILLINOIS LOOKS STUPID YOU KNOW KATHY GRIFFIN WAS FROM ILLINOIS GOD I LOVE HER SHE'S A REDHEAD SO IS ANNIE TONIGHT ON SNL TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYED ANNIE IN THIS BROADWAY SKETCH SO WAS THE CHICK THAT PLAYED ELPHABA WAS OH DID I EVER MENTION HOW MY FRIEND GOT TO PAINT IDINA MENZEL'S HANDS GREEN WELL YEAH SHE DID AND THEN I TOUCHED MY FRIEND'S HANDS TO GET SOME OF THE IDINA BUT SHE SAID SHE WASHED THEM A LOT SINCE FOURTH GRADE AND I ASKED WHY AND SHE SAID BECAUSE SHE HAD PEED SINCE THEN AND I DEMANDED TO KNOW WHY AND SHE EXPLAINED THE HUMAN BODY TO ME AND THEN I HAD A FLASHBACK TO FIFTH GRADE DURING PASSOVER WHEN A FAMILY FRIEND TESTED ME ON THE HUMAN HEART BECAUSE I HAD A TEST ON IT COMING UP AND THEN WE LOOKED FOR THE AFIKOMEN AND I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER FOUND IT EVEN THOUGH IT'S AT MY HOUSE AFUW4HTGI843 58I4IGVHRJKEBJWSDHFBAWIFBGWIUEFV
(why, no, insomnia played no part in that and I have not had tons of caffeine and sugar).