20

Today I am 20. The Crucible, in which I play Mary Warren, opened at the Walter Kerr Theatre three weeks ago, March 31st—also the eight-year anniversary of this blog. I have a lot of trouble comprehending that writing Style Rookie led to writing for other places, then starting Rookie, then being able to audition for plays that I love and to be inside of them for long periods of time, which is an inexplicably wonderful way to live a life. But I am really really really insanely thankful for all of it, and many of you have followed for a LONG time, and that means a lot. Right now, I'm very slowly writing something that I hope will effectively articulate the strangeness of the way these all overlap—the fictions we get to try on via diary/blog-keeping, and acting, and personal style. But that's a longterm hermit project. I just wanted to mention it because in my attempt to briefly list recent stuff I've been up to, I may sound callous, but: None of this goes unexamined or unappreciated.

Since my last update:

I went on tour for Rookie Yearbook Four and got to meet Rookies across the U.S. It's always surreal and the very best heart-nutrition to see long-time readers and meet new ones! Here are some photos of it all.

Recent Editor's Letters for Rookie about stuff like: Glory, Assembly, Potential, Truth or Dare, and Cult of Personality. In my letter for the theme On Display, I also wrote about David Bowie.

Back in the fall, Bowie commissioned a series of videos set to songs from ★ by Insta Mini Series, and you will find me in some of them.

I am also hanging out with the coolest/cutest girls in the world in the video for Carly Rae Jepsen's song "Boy Problems," which Petra Collins, Rookie photographer and personal partner-in-crime, directed.

For the online magazine ILY, I wrote about how liking movies too much can cause one to dissociate from real-life events such as love. Shoutout to movies, love you movies!!!!

Some brain-expanding interviews I have conducted—
For Rookie: Adrian Tomine, Carly Rae Jepsen, Joanna Newsom, Hailee Steinfeld, and Danai Gurira.

For Interview: Winona Ryder, high priestess of my DVD shelf.

For Studio 360: Ben Whishaw, who plays John Proctor in The Crucible and is a magical person.

I also interviewed Olivia Bee for Studio 360. She is crazy talented and has taken photos for Rookie since the very beginning, and now has a stunning book out with Aperture called Kids in Love, in which I wrote a thing or two (two).

I got to be a guest on one of my favorite podcasts, Call Your Girlfriend.

I was in an episode of Scream Queens, dressed in homage to Rosemary Woodhouse and having SO MUCH FUN. Here is Jamie Lee Curtis ruining my life:

And while we're at it, here's Ben ruining my life in The Crucible:

I gave a tour of my apartment in this video for Nowness + Apartamento.

I wrote some + edited a round-up of feelings about the two-year anniversary of Beyoncé's self-titled album over at BEAT.

I was featured in CR Fashion Book and beloved Rookie illustrator Mithsuca Berry did the artwork. (Photo by Sloan Laurits.)

I was shot by empress/emperor Inez and Vinoodh for Vanity Fair while Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" played on a loop inside my head.

I was on the cover of a zine Rookie illustrator and world wonder Kati Yewell started, called Noisy Kids. She interviewed me and took photos where I am swimming in my documented spirals I mean diaries.

I was also on the cover of Polyester Zine, interviewed by the brilliant Ione Gamble and shot by Eleanor Hardwick, who I interviewed eons ago on this blog and who's also been at Rookie since day one. It was SO SPECIAL to finally meet her and work together; the internet to IRL is amazing!!!

If you've read my blog or Rookie for a few years you know how much I love Seth Bogart or even that my friends and I weaseled our way into his 18+ shows in high school. I got to sing on the song "Barely Legal" from his new self-titled album, which is a huge treat all-around; here is a tiny clip of it.

I was photographed by Annie Leibovitz for the 2016 Pirelli calendar in the company of my every living hero, and I wrote some about it here:

For the 2016 Pirelli Calendar, Annie Leibovitz chose to photograph women whose achievements demonstrate a different kind of beauty from what the calendar has traditionally showcased. I'm still shocked to be included among so many people who've long influenced not just my work, but how I see the world, and try to see myself. Annie photographed me one year earlier in the pink velvet dress I'd originally bought for prom, in my parents' backyard. At that time, it was still my backyard, too, and had functioned since I was a little kid as a personal photo studio, study, and consistent reminder that I was bigger than I had been the year before, and the year before that, and that this would only keep happening. (I'm still v short, but: relatively speaking.) It was where I learned that as your childhood shrinks around you, so will your sense of wonder, unless you choose to pay close attention to what surrounds you at new heights. When Annie shot me for Pirelli, we were just a few blocks from my new home in NYC. A lot happens in that first year, and not knowing the geography of the city makes every encounter feel totally isolated from the rest of the world, like a castle on a cloud. At the time of this shoot, I was parsing what in this year had seemed significant just because it was new, and then what was enriching. I was exhausted by the sheen, and desperate to develop a kind of discernment which would make me so healthy, so OK with myself, that genuine wonder would return--gravitation towards stuff that isn't just shiny, but illuminates the same sorts of truths I'd learned as a fan of Patti, Yoko, and other women who happen to be in this calendar, too. I decided to cut my hair on the shoot, rid myself of any excess. Annie made me feel completely comfortable, like I was the same person as the year before, but indeed older. Again, still very physically short. My foot is peeking out of that shoe. I urge you to look at the other portraits, all so stunning, bold & nearly impossible to turn away from. They are strongest as a group, but I wanted to share what mine means to me and thank you for following what I do in such a way that has allowed for this to happen.

It feels wrong to write about a play—one of the last things in this MODERN TIME which can't be captured or effectively described to anyone who wasn't there in person—but I am so so proud of The Crucible, and of everyone involved in the production. I talked about that here.

Photo by @roseolm of #thecruciblebroadway opening night bow. I am so proud of and moved by everyone in this show, night after night, and thrilled for any audience member who gets to see what they've all brought to characters I thought I knew well enough from English class. My heart is very full right now!!! This was Thursday, 3/31, which is also the date of my first Style Rookie post 8 years ago. What a bizarre course of events. Thank you for following them, reading, watching--I hope you can catch this one too. ❤

HEY THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!! See you at the stage door, or at a Rookie event, or if you're ever on the streets of the Big Apple and you're like "who's that girl squinting at directions on her phone and inconveniencing everyone around her?" I just want you to know that the answer, always, is me.