December 9, 2008

i hate it when people speak with their mouth full. of words. and things to say.

So the super sparkly crazy dress I thrifted for Belle was totally considerately and seflessly tested out yesterday by moi (the Dior video was somewhat educational). My report is that it is surprisingly un-itchy and the purdy beading is so intricate. And to back up my report with a second opinion, a girl at school called me a "hot tranny mess." A+!
I wore it with my SHINY gold American Apparel leggings (though I think the black ones would have been equally awesomely blinding) and SHINY purple tutu-like skirt. I also wore the SHINY coathanger again, with a SHINY clip-on earring attached at the bottom just so I can play with it during class, like those wiry, beady contraptions they have at doctors offices and Super Cuts for little kids to play with.
The key word here, ladies and germs, is SHINY.
O: Why are you wearing that?
Me: Because nudity is a public offense.
O: But you look like a football player.
Me: You look and smell like an awkward, disheveled seventh grader.
O: But...is that a coathanger around your neck?
Me: Is that a metal rod through your head?

Demented and sad, but social.
The shoulders aren't really that huge (though there are shoulder pads), yesterday morning I decided to be X-TREMEZ and stuff a tee shirt in each shoulder pad. It was kind of a pain to be adjusting it all day, but the good news is my dance partner couldn't put his hands on my shoulders!

And the lesson here is: Being sarcastic and soulless is the only way to get through wearing shiny things in middle school.

thrifted dress. american apparel leggings. gap skirt. converse.