sixteen and spring

Oy vey, I've given up on collecting all the images/playlists/collages/stickers/diary entries/etc. necessary for my usual all-encompassing VIBES posts. The task has suddenly become really daunting! And tedious! And a blog is probably not the best format for being retrospective and examining all the music/movies/outfits/etc. I was into at a certain time and looking at the colors and motifs and things they share and finding the conceptual parallel. Rookie's monthly themes are a good place for that, on a less personal level, and my tangible diaries have been good for that, but they don't want to be shared. Also, the herds of sheep I've enslaved to form tiny colonies, each one themed according to a certain vibe. That's been a great outlet for this kind of obsessive organization, too.

But I still like having this outlet, and so, my spring so far:

Claire and two friends both named Alex and me performed at V-Day, a good, loud celebration of vaginas. Autumn took those photos. The last one is me in the last hour of my 16th birthday a couple weekends ago. I am wearing my friend's sweater, a skirt I got to keep from the Wren shoot, and a jacket gifted to me by Risto.

A car Petra and I found, a sundae Grace and I shared, a crown of real roses that Ella gave me for my birthday, and the view from my angst-gazing/Say Anything-worthy window.

Apple blossoms I put in shampoo bottles from the Chelsea Hotel, where most of the initial Rookie meetings between Anaheed and me took place last summer.

(Vintage collared shirt, tye dye top gifted by Proenza Schouler, necklace gifted by Pamela Love)

These photos are by Lauren Dukoff, styled by Ashley Furnival for Vogue Nippon. We shot in January, but they fit in so much with what I've been feeling for spring -- the '50s/'60s jumble, the beehive, applying the bright, pink/green/orange/sky blue colors I normally associate with Los Angeles (see: these posts) to '50s shapes I normally associate with being home in a suburb (see: fall vibes). I was really lucky to get to work with friends who understand my loyalty to my personal style (see: inconvenient pickiness over VIBES and COLORS and HOW THEY FIT PERFECTLY IN REFERENCE TO ALL OF THE THINGS THAT I LIKE) and wanted to create looks we would all love. That last picture is of Ashley and me, and it's so dusty 'cause it's been on my shelf.

Petra and her boyfriend visited during my spring break and we basically lived in a bubble of our own vibes and references and color associations for days in a row and it was MAGICAL. Like Heavenly Creatures, only instead of writing and molding intricately designed fairytales, we just tried to wear relatively nice things while watching Dazed and Confused and found ways to call junk foods aesthetically pleasing.

Hangouttimez, and my room's constant state for the past couple months.

Claire and I saw Hunx and his Punx and it was many many kinds of amazing. Our underagedness got us seated at a counter behind the bar and it was actually really nice because we had room to dance and were elevated so we could see and people-watch. I wore my Twin Peaks best friend/rosary necklace and kept my Hunx comb in my sock like a switchblade and Claire's skirt looked like the red room floor in TP. Hunx and all of his punx were so NICE and ALIVE and then when we went home and watched Community we kept pausing it to be like, "Wait, THAT SHOW WAS SO GOOD."

Here I am attempting to channel Wanda Woodward with a pout-bitchface hybrid. My coat is also from the Wren shoot and Rachel Antonoff gave me the spiffy saddle shoes and my top is vintage and my hand-me-downed pants are made of lace and I think it's like the one time I've ever worn pants other than when I had a bad week where I wore jeans every day.

Olivia with her talented tendencies took these when she visited and we saw Amish people at Ed Debevic's and they wore the paper waiter hats on top of their own and that was pretty great.

Drinks at the bowling alley, Petra's situation, a day I spent in the treehouse reading Chris Ware comics and listening to Fleetwood Mac and sleeping, and FRIES.

For my birthday I had friends over for dancing and hugging and waffles made out of cake batter. The waffles were a huge hit, and I highly recommend the recipe for your next social function, or just your next meal, or every meal ever. Grace and I decorated our dining room like the high school movie prom of my teen dreamz, with bubblegum colors like this shoot Petra did for Rookie and banners that said SWEET 16 (not pictured) and POOP (definitely pictured). I wore that Wren skirt again 'cause I guess it's perfect for everything, and a baby blue embroidered top, and sandals I got at a vintage fair. I was prepared to be all mopey and Samantha Baker about it just in case it was underwhelming, but it was honestly the bestest day of my life? A song like "Blister in the Sun" kind of reaches a new level when a bunch of people who are used to dancing to it alone all go at it together. Meagan is responsible for these lovely photos. Also not pictured: the love notes "Justin Bieber" (Grace and I -- don't tell anyone!!!!!!!!) left sitting around.

i sometimes move

Here are two moderately accurate representations of me in motion, save the absence of my tail, which I cleverly hid. First is this video lookbook for Wren's Fall 2012 collection:

We shot it on the one rainy L.A. day of the year, and it was cool outside, and the house we were in had wind chimes and rugs hanging everywhere, and we listened to Cat Stevens, and it was really really rad working with people I've admired for years, and I quietly wept about the realization that life cannot always be this PRETTY.

It also occurred to me at some point recently that most people don't love talking about OUR DAUGHTERS AND THE MEDIA at parties, so I took those thoughts to TEDxTeen instead:

I hope you like both of them, and that you have a good rest of your week.

small things

Yesterday was the four-year anniversary of this blog! Congratulations to me for never pressing the "delete" button. I spoke at TEDxTeen, which was a nice way to bring it all full circle or something, and that video will be up next week. I couldn't think of a good April Fool's joke for today, but I will direct you to last year's and one from three years ago, both of which I am still very proud of, so proud that I don't know why I haven't won any Nobel Prizes or presidential elections or other fancy things for them.

Here is a photo I took with help from my dad (I'm never sure how to credit someone if it's just me being like LISTEN TO ME AND STAND HERE AND PRESS THIS BUTTON AND DON'T MOVE?) in L.A. a couple weeks ago. My coat was a gift from Wren and I got the shoes at a vintage fair.

there are holes in the universe

These books I've been making lately have been a good format for aesthetically cataloging the little worlds and movies I think I see sometimes, all the images and stills and songs and clothes and passages of writing that somehow make sense together. I used to try to embody each world in an outfit, but now I just want to dress like I'm actually in the world, so my outfits lately have been more simple…like when I got into Twin Peaks, I would wear my Laura Palmer pin, now I'd rather dress like Laura Palmer, if that makes sense.

Anyway, these are the spreads I'm printing for my next one. You know how you can feel totally underwhelmed by an album the first few times you hear it and then something happens, either an actual event or just in your changing person that you are, and it suddenly sounds completely different? That happened to me with Galaxie 500's On Fire when I was listening to it a couple weeks ago (in a tree house! In Chicago! In March! I don't know about this whole "global warming" thing, but I like what it's doing for my obsessive compulsive Abed-from-Community tendencies to try and live movie moments in real time!). I felt really ~*~inspired~*~ and wanted to make a little book of all the pictures it made me see or whatever but realized that I couldn't relate their music to a specific decade or place or season the way I do with all those other books because it kind of sounds like it exists outside of time or space. It makes me think of this diary entry I wrote a couple months ago in an old travel brochure:

Anyway, I guess disappointment is kind of eternal ("YOU'RE WELCOME" -my prophecy), so in that way it makes sense that these images aren't specific to one time or decade. And I did mention California but I think it's because the California I've experienced (just LA, really) is such an exaggeration of the dreams that are stored everywhere else, these suburban houses that are NEON, and giant gold churches, super tacky and cheaply decorated motels and psychics with huge signs…and Salvation Mountain is a whole world of its own…

Oh, and there are a lot of sources I couldn't find and Google Images got really slow for me so please email me if you know what any of the unknowns are! I'd like to be able to credit people properly and all.

clockwise from top left corner: darling dindon, unknown, jesse varner, internet k-hole, vincent j. stoker, luigi ghirri, unknown, claire milbrath for the ardorous, galaxie 500, and two unknowns

autumn de wilde, two unknowns, beck by spike jonze for interview

kim gordon by mark borthwick, three from internet k-hole

galaxie 500, unknown, mike mills for miranda july

galaxie 500, beth hoeckel, two unknowns

both unknown

david montes, arvida bystrom, unknown, grace denis for the ardorous

jerry de wilde, fruit of paradise, unknown, shelley duvall with mystery 70s man, creatures of the wind headpiece

two unknowns

joseph cornell film still, angela

unknown, mariam sitchinava, rodarte at yellowstone by todd cole for pop magazine

rodarte at yellowstone by todd cole for pop, internet k-hole

all unknown! wahhhh

70s skater girl, petra collins, unknown, wim wenders

luigi ghirri, galaxie 500, turned out by maya, luigi ghirri

luiggi ghirri, unknown, luigi ghirri, sonic youth

internet k-hole, kurt cobain by unknown photographer, george plemper, tim walker's the lost explorer, internet k-hole

sonic youth and bruce davidson

unknown, galaxie 500, the pixies

unknown, galaxie 500, still from the trailer for mike mills' beginners, galaxie 500

swedish hasbeens, two unknowns, dean wareham of galaxie 500

Creatures of the Wind's fall 2012 collection kind of felt like the physical clothing embodiment of all of these ideas for me. Sheba described it as being from the past and future at the same time, and that's exactly it…it at once appears to have an untraceable origin, time and place-wise, but also contains so many tiny references and motifs, fuzzy sweaters and soft flannels and liberty prints in '60s colors and quotes from The Last Unicorn and Mexican tweeds and patchwork, that all together make up something so familiar. Images related to the '60s or the Southwest have always felt like old memories to me, even though I was obviously not alive in the '60s and when we visited my grandparents in California when I was little - my only experience in the Southwest - we spent the whole time inside their house. They did have a great little hill in the backyard with grapefruit trees on top, and I liked to go up the stone path and pretend I was looking out on the whole world even though it was literally just the rest of their retirement community. God, that's depressing. But that's what I'm saying! Where did that delusion GO? And where did it COME FROM? Maybe I traveled throughout the Southwest in the '60s in a past life or something. Maybe I'm tired and still delusional! Wah wahhhhh.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, I think this might be my favorite collection of all time. Seriously. I wish I had never complimented anything else before in my life so that this would all have a stronger effect. It has a perfect feminine/masculine balance, there are all those little details that have MAGIC in them, but the pieces don't feel too fantastical or out of reach, they're still comfy and practical and made for a woman and not a little girl playing dress up. And the fabrics are from all over…the patchwork is made from bags from the '30s that Chris and Shane got at a thrift store, the lace overlay on this skirt is from a couturier in France, but the fabric underneath is from the '80s, thrifted.

God. LIFE, AMIRITE? Here's a playlist I made for all this too.

Parking Lot - Galaxie 500

Broken Dreams Club - Girls

Do You Love Me Now - Breeders

I'm Not There - Bob Dylan

Ceremony - New Order

Wish Fulfillment - Sonic Youth

Used To Be - Beach House

Army Dreamers - Kate Bush

Walking the Cow - Daniel Johnston

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

Here - Pavement

When Will You Come Home - Galaxie 500

It's such a satisfying feeling when things make sense together this way.